So the question raised last night was what or who are you a slave to? Seems like everyone is a slave to someone or something. Why is that? Are we fearful? Are we too wimpy to stand up to the thing that controls us? That got me thinking.
2012 didn’t start out good for me, and with January almost over it hasn’t gotten any better. So I made a decision last night. Before I tell cyberspace what my decision is; let me tell you what I am going through so you can better understand me. However, before I start that let me first give a disclaimer. I am not about getting pity, being a martyr or becoming anyone’s soapbox. Now that I have made that statement let me take a moment to describe my surroundings and environment.
I am 39. I am a man in a house of women. I have seen more chic flicks, Barbie movies and Disney channel shows than any man should ever see. I am not happy. I have some friends but none that I would call close. I have some money but not enough to be above poverty. I go to church because I want to not because I need to or just because I can be seen there. However, I do not enjoy church like I used to. I have trusted people only to be hurt, rejected and ignored. I have a job, but its one that I don’t know has a lasting future for me. I have a car but it doesn’t work. I am out of shape. I never get enough sleep. I have dreams that I can’t see coming true.
Yesterday I realized that I am extremely critical and negative. Couldn’t see that one coming, huh? I need a restart. If I could, I would go escape to a mountain retreat for about a month and come out with long beard and a fresh perspective. But I can’t. I can’t grow a beard to save my life. Really. So today I am starting a virtual journey. I will start.
I have titled this a journey of Integrity, Intensity and Identity. My life needs to be evaluated by its Creator and I am asking Him to take me and remold me. I don’t like what I have become. I don’t see how He can use me like I am. Divorced, out of shape in every sense of the word, and a critical spirit. I don’t need people to help me- I need His Word, His Presence, and His Hand to help.
Integrity: Character, Real, Raw, Honest, Pure, Singularity.
Intensity: Will, Heart, Committment, Discipline, Effort, Desire, Sweat.
Identity: Christian, Man, Husband, Father, Worker, Servant, Purpose.
Maybe this resonates within you. Maybe you find yourself ok. Maybe you don’t care. Either way- if you wish, you can observe my journey on this blog.
Thanks for listening to my minddust.
